Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
