She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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