He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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