it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
