what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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