is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
