The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
