and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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