Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
