where am i from again
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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