so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
