you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
