I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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