he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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