so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
this will be a night to untag.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
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I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
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She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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