just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
