they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
