So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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