it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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