You made me cry and you don't even care
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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