haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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