that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
