Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
