I puked a lego.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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