Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
