i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
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