i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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