It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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