my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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