i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
you will always have a special place in my vag
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
