someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
