All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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