Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
