when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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