I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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