Your mouth is God's brothel.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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