Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
