Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
The Olympian is in my bed
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
