honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
