its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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