I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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