Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
