So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
