i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
