Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
