Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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