guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.