you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
