He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
