one two three fourrrrnication!
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
