my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
