Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
we're so committed to being not committed
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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