SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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