I love black thongs
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
