I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
