I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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